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Tips For Toilet Training
By Dr. Noel Swanson.
Let’s begin by removing some misconceptions related to toilet training. Many parents seem to consider as a criterion to judge their child’s brightness and their own smartness. Nothing can be farther than the truth. If you try to potty train your child before he/she is ready for it, you will be a nervous wreck, and you will traumatize your child.

On the other hand, waiting until your child is genuinely ready makes the whole process a whole lot easier, happier, and less stressful. Does it really matter if your little Susie is trained three months later than your neighbors Cathy?

Parents should never compare children because every child is different. Not many toddlers are genuinely toilet trained before the age of 20 months. The girls start at around the age of two and boys around the age of three. Almost all children are toilet trained by the age of 4. Some continue with bedwetting till the age of 5. This should put you at ease. You have no need to be in a hurry to toilet train your little toddler. If you force it before he is ready, there will be problems like soiling that can continue for many years into the future.

So, in the interests of more peace at home, here are some guidelines on how to prepare your child for the great Experience - and how to know when he or she is ready to start.

1. Before you start with potty training, it is important for your child to be familiar with the body parts, their functions, and the names you use as a family. Every family has its own names. So, it really doesn't matter what names you give as long as everyone knows what they mean.

2. Allow her to witness you or other family member (preferably same sex) using the toilet. No it won't traumatize her - unless you make a big thing of it. Just be natural and she will consider it natural as well. Talk about it as a grown-up thing to do - that one day, when she is ready, she too will be able to use a potty and then the big peoples toilet. This instills a sense of anticipation and desire as all toddlers want to do the things that grown-ups do. Letting her flush the toilet also gets her used to the whole process.

3. Nearing the time for starting toilet training, get the potty out and leave it in a visible place. Then talk about it, telling your child what it is, and what it is for.

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Child potty training can be a souce of anxiety for both the parent and the child so it is important to get the timing and the technique just right.

But, don’t force them on it straightaway. Tell them they will be using it some day.

Look for the signs of approaching readiness:

1. Can she tell you when she is wet or dirty? You can help with this by asking her or pointing out to her immediately after she urinated or had a bowel movement. Whether your spot it, or she tells you, change her diaper as soon as possible. You want to reinforce the idea that being clean and dry is more comfortable than being wet and dirty. If she comes and tells you that she needs a diaper change, offer lots of praise and do it straight away.

2. Can she physically manage the potty? That is, can she pull off her own diaper (the elasticated pull-ons are great for this), can she sit on the potty without falling off? Can she walk/run quickly to the bathroom? At the beginning children don't get a lot of warning so problems with getting to the bathroom and getting clothes off may lead to more accidents and more frustration. Maybe better to wait another month or two.

3. Your child will take some time to follow directions and instructions. He will have to be taught how to take a piece of tissue and throw it into the toilet. Do that first.

4. Are there signs of developing bowel and bladder control? For example, are the bowel motions settling into a clear pattern such as twice a day after meals? Are stools firm and well formed? Is she able to stay dry for several hours at a time? If not, she may not be able to contain herself long enough to get to the bathroom. On the other hand, also make sure that she is not straining or experiencing pain on passing a motion as that can lead to deliberate witholding and a whole host of problems that can become very intractable and long term. She may need a change of diet to make the stool softer and easier to pass.

5. As part of the preparation for toilet training, remove all negative notions about potty from your child’s mind. Some children have fears about flushing water or falling into the potty. You need to address these first. Your child should be looking forward to the day he can use a toilet like a grown up.

If you have done your preparatory work well, you will not have much difficulty in toilet training your little toddler. Remember to praise success, but there should be no punishments for failures.

Best of luck.
Dr. Noel Swanson offers free expert parenting help on his website - just sign up for his newsletter and get a free chapter of his book, The GOOD CHILD Guide. Why not discuss parenting issues with other parents on a parenting forum?
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